It’s Not Me, It’s You: Children of Christian Narcissists

28 Jun

Long article…but well worth the read. This was not my experience growing up, but very much how my wife describes her childhood. Check it out…

godless in dixie


[Guest post written by Deanna M. Boudov]

If you are like me and you were indoctrinated as a Christian since birth by your character-impaired parent(s), you may ask yourself:  What came first, the religion or the personality problem?  Sometimes these two wonderful things just come together in one wacky, messed-up package.

Neil and I are in a group of what I like to think of as a union of sorts, an International Brotherhood of Survivors of Christianity.  We mostly just goof around on the internet, and on occasion meet up in Texas at a halfway-house for wayward adults. I am often shocked and heartbroken by Neil’s experiences in Dixie, and feel both guilty and grateful to live in the Northeast.  Here Catholics and liberal Christians may think you are a complete weirdo for not sharing their beliefs, but the most likely scenario is that you are not going to lose…

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2 Responses to “It’s Not Me, It’s You: Children of Christian Narcissists”

  1. Quince September 23, 2014 at 4:33 pm #

    This one hit home with me. Our society makes it just impossible to say and anything negative about your mother. I do not share the writers equation of narcissism and religion. It just was not my experience. I found solace in my Catholicism, then again my mother was not born again and did not use religion the way the writer’s mother did. That being said, I related to every word about narcissism and emotional abuse.

    This article helped me to look not only at my mother but her mother as well. I am certain the narcissism went farther back than that. If I am going to be free I must forgive. If my children are going to be free I must break the cycle. The best we can do as victims is not to become emotional abusers ourselves.

    • christianagnostic September 26, 2014 at 12:13 am #

      I’m glad you found this helpful. It’s so difficult when you’ve been entangled with a narcissist.

      I agree that being intentional towards not repeating abuse is a healthy step forward.

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