Is telling the truth worth it?

28 Feb

I was raised to tell the truth, as a young Christian I was told that the truth honored Jesus.  The truth is, I no longer find the stories and claims of the Bible to be true.  The truth is, I wasted more than 20 years of my adult life laboring to help spread a lie.  I gave my time, my money, my talents in the hope that God was looking out and going to provide me with all that I needed.

And when I finally admitted to myself and to my family that I no longer believed….well, some have chosen to accuse my family of following Satan (or being deceived by him).  Others just seem to choose to forget that I have stated flatly that I do not believe and will never go back to church.  They continue to speak to me about church and Evangelistic efforts they support, as if I would really want to know about how they are trying to spread a faith that I consider false and and unverifiable.  It has put a wedge between me and my family, and I wonder if telling the truth to people that say they believe in truth while acting as if they don’t, was worth it.

Don’t get me wrong, letting go of my Christian faith is the best thing that has ever happened to me and my family….and that’s the truth….it’s just that it is not fun to tell people the truth when the ask you, only to have them be dismissive or combative in return.

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8 Responses to “Is telling the truth worth it?”

  1. atimetorend February 29, 2012 at 10:29 pm #

    Don’t get me wrong, letting go of my Christian faith is the best thing that has ever happened to me and my family….and that’s the truth….it’s just that it is not fun to tell people the truth when the ask you, only to have them be dismissive or combative in return.

    It’s a tough line to learn to walk. I would rather not deal with a combative person at all than deal with them being combative about my not sharing their beliefs. So I have lost a lot of friends through the process of changing beliefs — it just isn’t worth dealing with the emotional strain to me. And I’ve made a lot of new friends, mostly christians actually, just more progressive ones. With family, that’s a different matter, because the relationships are more valuable to me. It is a tough line to walk, rock the boat or not. I lean towards keeping it as steady as possible.

    • christianagnostic March 1, 2012 at 12:30 am #

      “It’s a tough line to learn to walk. I would rather not deal with a combative person at all than deal with them being combative about my not sharing their beliefs.”

      I am learning this the hard way…part of me wishes I had not pushed my wife to “just be honest” about our loss of faith. It has been worse with her family than with mine, in terms of relational strain. I just assumed they would rather know the truth, it’s how we were raised-I didn’t realize that this would be different….I know, how naive can I be?

      Question for you….have you been able to maintain any of your Christian friends?

  2. atimetorend March 1, 2012 at 3:31 am #

    Good question. None of my christian friends left me, more like we drifted apart. I have two from our old church (conservative evangelical) who are faithful regardless of what I believe. My wife and I go to a relatively progressive christian church now — I became agnostic, or something, and my wife didn’t, but we were able to make the shift, along with her beliefs shifting too. So I have a lot of new progressive christian friends, who though they hold their christian beliefs strongly, don’t disrespect or fear agnostic or atheist beliefs. I can be myself.

    Unlike you, it sounds like, we do not have strict christian relatives. Mine are secular, hers are liberal christian. So we haven’t had to deal with those kinds of relationships.

    Please send me your email address, if you wouldn’t mind. I would like to write less guardedly than I can on a blog.

    • christianagnostic March 1, 2012 at 6:01 am #

      You’ve got mail! Glad to hear that family lets you be you…

  3. Debra Baker March 13, 2012 at 3:31 am #

    I’m still a Christian but I have a boatload of doubts and I am not afraid to share them anymore although I get crap but I’ve been getting crap all my life.

    Trust me, my poor husband thought my head would do a 360 because I have a problem balancing the equation that says a loving God will only let you into heaven through Jesus.

    I keep thinking I’ll be stuck down for that one but it hasn’t happened.

    And you won’t like my hypothesis about Adam and Eve.

    Hope it’s ok for me to be in here I sort of feel like the chick that blundered into the boys locker room.

  4. christianagnostic March 13, 2012 at 4:12 am #

    Not at all….thanks for the comment! I sure hope there’s not a “boys only” feel to the blog.

  5. Debra Baker March 13, 2012 at 10:47 am #

    I was making reference to my status as still-Christian (although not a very proper one.)
    There is no boys only feel.

    • christianagnostic March 13, 2012 at 4:57 pm #

      Gotcha…totally missed the joke. Either way, I hope you feel free to comment.

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